Thursday, December 17, 2009

If Loving You Is Wrong, I Might Try and Kill You With A Golf Club....

Courtesy of Ms.Jainee Monique by way of The Black Snob...

The sweetest woman in the world, can be the meanest woman in the world ... if you make her that way.

One of the most annoying myths that men (of all races) often make about women (of different races) is that somehow, all brown women -- especially the black ones -- are mean or crazy or might throw hot grits on you or scream "GIT YO SH**" at the top of our lungs while we set all your belongings on fire in the driveway. That somehow white women (and often Asian women are lumped in here too) are just these nice, passive, docile creatures who would never, ever say a harsh word or curse you out or lift a finger in anger.

As the saying goes, "Hell hath no fury like a WOMAN scorned." It doesn't specify just us black harridans.

Which brings us to the case of one super star golfer Tiger Woods and his wife Elin and the golf club she used to either:

A) free him after a car accident that oddly took place at the end of their driveway

B) tried to beat the living daylights out of him using an instrument of delicious irony

I can't pretend to know all the facts. None of us can. None of us were there. I just know if it's almost 3 a.m. and you're trying to leave your house and your wife of six years -- mother of your two children -- has a golf club in her hand and she's a-swinging this is not because she's decided to get in some early morning practice. It looks like someone is channeling their inner Brenda Richie, but with deadly intent. And golf clubs.

The moral of this story is, all women are capable of just about anything if you push them far enough. Regardless of race or socio-economic background. A white woman is just as likely to mow you down with her car repeatedly as a Latina woman is likely to take a knife to your ding-a-ling as a black woman is likely to set your house on fire. I'd advice, menfolk, if you'd like to keep your things from getting broken (or from having your things used to break you), perhaps you should keep your special parts to yourself and not go dilly-dallying with every overly friendly tart you meet.

Just some advice. Or ... I don't know. Don't ever wife n' kid up some woman, make her feel all special and expect her to be OK with you running around. Stay single. You can still have kids. Ask Puffy. Or Diddy or Sean Combs...whatever he's calling himself these days...


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