Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Vacay Post...Some tips on dealing with these men..LOL

While currently on vacation, I'm reading a book called the Company We Keep.. The grandmother of the main character Teri says something I found interesting.. "It don't take much to keep a man happy, if you know how.. Once you put the physical part in the proper perspective, the rest is easy. You feed ur man what he wants to eat,make him think he's some kind of king and all that means is telling his dumb ass a lot of barefaced lies, and keep his house amd kids clean..that's all it takes. That's why divorce is a stranger to most of my generation."

I read this and lmao ,but I have to admit I think some women are too afraid to be at least a lil submissive and dote on their man..nothing wrong with making him some dinner and making him feel like a King ( As long as he's worthy and makes u feel like a Queen as well of course..)

Below are some more tips on the way to a 21st century Man: Some likes and dislikes and general info on the things we need to know..

P.S Disclaimer- It was actually e-mailed to me by a man..not my opinions..

1) If they say, "I'm not looking for anything serious..." we really mean: "I don't quite think you're girlfriend material, but we can have sex and catch a movie occasionally."

2) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD: Please don't wear those hideous gladiator sandals EVER again. We need you lookin' sexy in the summer-not like you're about to do battle with a tiger in the Roman coliseum.

3) When you say you'll "be right out," after we arrive to pick you up for our date-we know you won't really be ready for another 20 minutes.

4) Since we know yo' ass is just gettin' out of the shower when we get there, we've learned to call and say we're outside waiting-when we're actually a few miles away. Hopefully, you'll be ready when we really show up.

5) When you say, "I've taken a vow of celibacy to get my life right with the Lord," we hear, "Some dude f#ked me the hell over-and now I'm gon' take it out on YOU!"

6) Can we please watch a UFC fight without you saying it's gay and homoerotic? Maybe it's me, but I ain't never seen a dude kick another man in the face because he wanted to have sex with him.

7) NEVER show up at our place unannounced. Unless, of course, you want to see the horrific, unspeakable condition of our bathroom. 'Cause the only time we clean it is before you come over.

8 ) If you chose Turn My Swag On as your phone's ringtone-we're definitely "not looking for anything serious."

9) When you ask which purse goes with the dress and shoes you're wearing-realize that we're probably 30 minutes late for where we're supposed to be. Therefore, we're probably gon' tell you anything to expedite the process.

10) When we take you to dinner and you nag, bitch, and complain to the waiter all night-we envision you doing the same to us five years from now when we're attempting to watch the game.

11) If you're considering chopping off all your hair because you need a "new beginning" after some dude played you-please don't do it. You'll regret it in the morning.

12) "Honey, I'm going to the gym. Wanna come?" really means, "Uh, I've noticed that you've gained a few pounds-and this is the safest way to tell you."

13) When you pop up for the first time in weeks and say, "Hey, stranger! How've you been?" we hear, "Things didn't work out with the other dude. Good thing we have YOU as our fall-back option."

14) That being the case, we'll tell the aforementioned young lady we're "not looking for anything serious."

15) Beyonce is not a philosopher whose music should be interpreted as gospel. Thus, if you've ever asked your guy to "put a ring on it," told a man you can "upgrade" him, or dumped him by saying, "to the left" twice-you're automatically disqualified from being the future mother of our children.

Now some of this list is all in fun and some should be taken to heart..don't worry there will be a followup just for the men..once I get sum male ..tell a friend.. Smooches



Blogger Jackie said...

I love to read, and that book seems interesting. OMG at the first comment, i heard that one before, and i was like "okay time to move on". lol

I am now following you, check out my stuff, subscribe and follow me. :)

August 12, 2009 at 7:53 PM  
Blogger Antwanetta Marshay said...

Love this post and your guy friend is hilarious and most of his points are valid..

August 14, 2009 at 12:30 PM  
Blogger Empowered Woman said...

Thanks for your comments ladies...Jackie the book was written by MAry Monroe..feel fre to check it out although,it kinda fell flat to me..the end was wack..actually so was most of the book. That's why the library is my favorite place, you read and give back with no financial comitment.

Antwaneta, yes he's pretty on point, most guys are not so insightful..

August 15, 2009 at 12:20 AM  

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